Saturday, November 1, 2008

Everything you never wanted to know about: the Plague, Mango, & Flirting

THE PLAGUE


Ok, perhaps it wasn't quite THAT bad, but it wasn't much fun either. I've been sick for the last three days and I'm finally functional. It started on Wednesday with what I assumed was either my allergies out of control or a mild head-cold. I hoped it was just my allergies and would be able to get them under control by the next day.

Woke up on Thursday... nope, head-cold. Sucky! This meant I had to cancel my plans for that evening and the next!

Friday I woke wondering if I was going to need to call 911. I'm not going to go into graphic details about the symptoms, but let’s just say, I've survived quite an interesting and excruciating selection of ailments in prior experiences to this and was genuinely concerned about this combination and if I would need emergency help. 5 hours later the incredible pain and additional symptoms subsided, somewhat, and I realized that whatever I caught wasn't just a head-cold. Surely it must be the plague! I was concerned at one point that an alien would rip through my abdomen and peer its ugly head out at any moment or that my appendix might be about to burst. Fortunately, not.

Today I woke feeling a whole lot better. I still feel like someone used me for piƱata practice with a baseball bat, but other than some muscle fatigue and soreness I'm doing ok. At least I can walk today!

I had to leave the house anyway today... it was that or risk being eat alive by the 5 furry felines who live with me. I ran out of cat food. I ventured off to a pet food store, and since I was already out and about, to a Trader Joe's in Huntington Beach (I love Trader Joe's!).

MANGO


Oooo, I found something new! Dark chocolate covered spicy dried mango! OHMYGAWD! Its very yum.

Mango is one of my absolute favorite fruits and flavors. It even became this weird kind of inside joke thing with me and the ex. One day, we were driving by a Lee's Sandwich and I said, "Ooooh, mango smoothie is love" cause to me, it could be. Somehow that got turned into Mango=Love. As some stupid cutesy thing we'd exchange mango flavored gifts. It was weird, especially because I know he wasn't really into gifts, giving or receiving, or celebrations or anything much fun actually... anyway.

SLOPPY FLIRTING


Hey kids! Don't try this at home... or anywhere else!

Back to my exotic travels to Huntington Beach... I was driving back from Trader Joe's and found a text from Mordan. I was waiting at a red light and texting her back. My radio was blaring Billy Talent and I had the windows slightly open. Four guys pull up in the car next to me. I'm not paying them any attention, why should I? They're yelling for me and honking the horn and I finally realize they're trying to talk to me. I turn off the radio, roll down the window and they ask a series of odd questions.

Front Passenger: "Hey! How's it goin'? So what are you doin'?"
Giving me this "look"...you know that, "hey baby, how you doin'?'" look?

Me: "Um... texting."
I hold up my phone to show... see, texting.

Driver: "Yeah? You are, huh? See I told you guys she was texting!"
At this point I thought I was going to get lectured by them about texting and driving, but I wasn't driving, it was a red light.

Me: "Um, yeah?"
Ok I thought they needed directions which was why I bothered to roll down my window to begin with.

Driver: "Who are you texting?"

Back Passenger 2: "Do you have a daughter?"
Ok, wtf??

Me: "I'm texting a friend."
Why should I tell them anything? I don't know who the heck they are.

Front Passenger: "A friend huh? What kind of friend?"
Driver: "Why are you blowing us off when we're trying to talk with you?"

Me: "Uh... I'm sorry?"
The light changed to green!

Doode, I was just trying to send off this text before the light changed! It was kind of time sensitive... sort of. Ok, maybe not.

Wow! I don't think I've gone through one of those experiences since... wow, since high school! And frankly the guys in the car looked like they'd only been out of high school a couple of years at the most.

Soon as the light changed the windows and the music went back up! They pulled in front of me and wanted me to follow, but I kept going where I was already heading.

I wonder if that kind of sloppy flirting tactic actually works with some girls? Doubtful, but then again, its a bit of a numbers game. If you do it enough times eventually it will work on someone, just not on me.

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