Thanksgiving Feast and Memories

It's that time of year when everyone heads off to a great big family dinner, or is stuck in the kitchen cooking that great big family dinner. I am a huge fan of feasting with family and friends.

I remember every year my mom went all out. She started early in the morning cooking the turkey, making stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, veggies, appetizers, cookies, all sorts of delicious and amazing foods. I really miss her rumaki and stuffed mushrooms. She was a fantastic cook. We'd set the table, which technically only seats 6, for 8-10 people. It would also have all the trimmings, lace table cloth, fine china, good silverware, crystal stemware. We were a regular Norman Rockwell painting.

I know that I was asked to help from time to time, but I think more often than not I needed to find something else to do to keep me out of the kitchen and out of mom's way. One year, as a kid, I took a bike ride across the way around McDonnell Douglas (now Boeing). Riding back up Bolsa avenue I remember watching all the squirrels playing in the grass and pine trees. I wanted to stop and play with the squirrels (remember, I was just a kid), but knew I needed to get back home for dinner. Besides, I'm allergic to light sabers.

Each year we would alternate our Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners with my parent's best friends, Uncle Roy and Aunt Fely. It was the same amazing gathering and feast regardless of which household it was in  although, my Uncle Roy's place had a pool table and a pool, both of which I loved, so there was that.

I remember that if we were at Uncle Roy's place they would always play pinochle, or (if I was lucky) we'd play mahjong! I loved playing mahjong! I love the feel of the tiles and hearing them clack as we mixed them up on the table getting ready to "build the walls" for the next game.

If we hosted I know mom would always insist on Martini and Rossi Asti Spumante sparkling wine. I'm not sure why she thought it was so great. As a kid I would get a tiny taste, but now as an adult I don't care for it. There are other sparkling wines or champagnes I'd rather have. However on Christmas we'd also have Japanese plum wine, which I totally love. I'm sure they played pinochle at our place too. I never played and still have no idea how to play. I would sit with my mom and watch because she was really good at the game, but they played so fast it was difficult to simply figure it out and I don't think I ever asked to learn.

My mom, unfortunately, passed after her second fight with breast cancer in June of 1991. Uncle Roy also passed a few years later. Though my aunt still hosted dinners, it was not quite the same without both of them. So at some point, though I was still invited to attend, I stopped going. I have to admit, the main reason I quit attending was the heavy Christian influence of her son and his wife. Though never overt, I felt judged like an outsider, even though I grew up with them and for all intents and purposes they were my family, but I felt terribly out of place. I know that as I came out of the broom closet, her son and his side of the family were less interested in maintaining a connection to me. I never really talk to him, or his now ex-wife. I do still talk on very rare occasions to one of his daughters.

Unfortunately my father also stopped attending at some point, mostly because he has a girlfriend and thus spends every holiday with her, her children and grandchild.

It's kind of sad if you think about it. This was a family tradition between the two families that lasted about 30 years and it is no longer.

For a time I would spend holidays with my birth-mother who lived a mere 20 minutes from my home. However, she moved out of state a few years ago, so it's just me now.

On and off over the years I would host a "Orphan's Thanksgiving". It was a gathering of friends and acquaintances from various social circles who either had no family to spend the holiday with OR had family but really didn't want to be with them and still wished to celebrate. I'd get anywhere from a small selection of friends to a huge gathering. Everyone would bring delicious food to share for a potluck dinner. Last year a friend brought over Beatles Rock Band. It was great to hear everyone from the young 20something anime otakus to the older 50something pirate enthusiasts singing along. Honestly, that was pretty awesome and made me very grateful to have so many wonderful friends in my life. :-)

This year I had no desire to host anything or even attend anything today. I know, seems strange given that I'm hosting one event or another every week and I did receive several invitations for dinner with friends, but I was genuinely ok with being home alone, relaxing, and enjoying my time. I planned on cooking whatever I felt like eating. FYI, I'm really not a huge fan of the big roasted turkey. I dunno why. I'll eat the dark meat, or skin, but the big roasted turkey is just not something I crave. I'm a bigger fan of the yams, fresh bread,

and pumpkin pie. Honestly, I'd rather have chicken or pork. Last year I made Hawaiian Kalua pork (called my birth-mom for the recipe), and today I made Greek Avgolemono lemon chicken soup. I made it as a hearty soup with chunks of chicken, potato, celery, carrot, onion, fresh lemon juice, eggs, and rice. I'd never made it before, but I literally had a flash of insight on how to make it and knew last week that I was cooking it today. It turned out great! I later topped off my dinner with a vanilla ice cream Drumstick. Granted it's not pumpkin pie, but I'm still good with that. As far as I'm concerned it was the perfect meal for me today. ;-)

I'm not real fond of the heavy amount of pressure we put on ourselves to make these holidays "perfect". I find the pressure unnecessary, and prefer not to buy into it. The holidays, events, gatherings, whatever it is will likely turn out to be perfect just as they were meant to be. It just might not be Martha Stewart perfect or Hollywood perfect, but it will most likely be just perfect for you and your family. The main point is to share the time together. To be honest I'm really not sure how my mom managed it. From my perspective she did it all with an amazing amount of ease. Don't get me wrong, I do know she worked hard at it, but I never felt like she was frazzled or ridiculously stressed about it even though she really did most of the work.

So today, as I am every day, I am thankful for my mom, Nole (pronounced NO - lee), for having been the one who choose me (and paid for me! Lol!), raised me, and taught me so many things in life despite the short time I got to have with her. I love you mom! The holidays are never quite as perfect without you.





My fave pic of my mother and me
visiting her favorite animal at the zoo.
1970